Pledge of Peace
by Judith Fein
There’s this organ in the middle of my chest that obliges me every second of every day by beating. It can be wounded, disarmed and stunned, but it keeps on doing its job. And it only asks me for one thing in return: “stay open,” it whispers. “Just stay open.”
photo by wiccked via flickr common licenseMaybe at one point in time it was a real effort. I think I recall suspicions I harbored and some swirling fears. But, over the years, my heart does its job and I do mine. It beats, I stay open. Not all the time—because there are hurts that catch me off guard and cause me to recoil—but, as a rule, I stay exposed in life.
The risk, as you can imagine, is pain. The reward is pleasure, connection, and the ability to feel freely. I have weighed risk and reward and come down on the side of the latter.
My heart and I have traveled widely, and when someone asks me what my favorite country is I generally answer, “the last one I visited.” I am moved by the generosity, quirkiness and depth of the people I meet on the road. I love their cultures and customs and the unique way they navigate life.
Then I come home. I start reading newspapers and, on the elliptical trainer at the gym, watching the news on T.V. Then I see old and new friends, and engage in conversation. It all feels so….polarized. The Tea Party is this. The Iranians are that. The Saudis are thus and so are the Republicans. Or Democrats. Or Greens. North Korea bad, South Korea good. And how about those Cubs? Life is a sports match and everyone is rooting for his team. I check in with my heart and it is screaming, “Don’t give in to this. Stay open.”
How do I stay open? I certainly see that there is violence, mayhem, crookery and deceit all around me. But, by and large, it’s committed by individual people, not by everyone in a group. If I condemn a group, I cut up peoples’ uniqueness and dump them all in the same stew. And, as they simmer in that stew, they get harder and less digestible.
I suppose you could say that the cycle of hatred is created and maintained by attack and counterattack. I vilify you for doing something and you, feeling vilified, attack me back. Then I, angry, attack you. You, enraged, lash out at me. And we feud on and on and on. There is no more dialogue. There is reaction and counter-reaction.
“Don’t fall for that. Stay open,” my heart urges me, and I suspect that, as usual, my heart is right. I solve nothing by engaging in the blame game. I also learn nothing. I reduce your group to labels and adjectives and you do the same to mine.
I have no illusions that I will change the world or stop people from demonizing each other. But I can do something small that satisfies my own heart: I can refuse to engage in hateful language about groups of people in my own country or in countries abroad.
I can take a pledge of non-polarization.
I will not divide the world up into good and bad. I will not wipe out whole groups by declaring them bad or worthless. I will not assume that what they think and the way they behave are insane or evil. I will give them the benefit of the doubt—that they are reacting to something, entrenched or angry because something happened to them or they fear something will happen to them. I will try to understand what it is.
I will not condone behaviors like war, violence, rape, or cruelty. I will fight against them any way I can. But I will not condemn the way groups of people think, even if it is radically different from the way I think. They are as entitled to their beliefs as I am to mine.
I can be angry with and disappointed in individuals. I can choose not to engage with them or make them part of my life. But I will try, to the best of my ability, not to add to the polarization on our planet by verbally vilifying groups that are not mine. A terrorist to some is a freedom fighter to others. I will try to understand.
I will obey the request of my heart.
Judith Fein is the co-founder and editor of www.YourLifeisaTrip.com and travel editor of Spirituality and Health magazine. Her new book, LIFE IS A TRIP: The Transformative Magic of Travel, takes readers on 14 exotic trips where, through interaction with other cultures, they can learn lessons that transform their lives.
Judith Fein
Reader Comments (17)
¡¡¡PAZ!!!
ah, mas,of course you get it...
This is such a fine article, Judi. This philosophy could change the world (one person at a time) if only people would pay attention!
"staying open" for the health, harmony, and happiness in your life while expediting the manifestation of your heart's fondest desires.... love and peace!!
what a glorious READ to start the day, thank you !!!!
susan, kitty, thank you so much for getting it.....and nodding your ascent !
Count me in!
As of today, I pledge to:
* Refuse to engage in hateful language about groups of people in my own country or in countries abroad.
* Not condemn the way groups of people think, even if it is radically different from the way I think.
* Try, to the best of my ability, not to add to the polarization on our planet by verbally vilifying groups that are not mine.
* Open my heart to understanding.
THANK YOU, Judie.
ellen, we are always in synch. thank you!
How do we wind up on the same page? As folks who live with words, it's the words we hear that breaks our soul-writer's hearts.
I, too, choose to use rose petals as opposed to rusty barbs, for the words I write and speak.
Counter-balance. Counter-balance. Counter-balance. Prisms in the dark finding light to refract.
wow. i didn't expect such poetry. rose petals instead of rusty barbs. i love it.
Your heart is wise. I too promise to keep mine open. This is the kind of message that needs to go viral. I'm going to repost and hope others do the same. I agree with an earlier comment, one person -- or heart -- at a time.
denise...thank you so much. even if we are a small group, it is a start.....
Bravo Judie! I needed to read this today. I first didn't want to take time out for 'me' reading but I am glad I did. As usual, a beautifully written piece.
Judie,
I think those words echo the sentiment of many people, unfortunately we are often not heard above the din of those promoting the hatred and violence. However the more the one person at a time philosophy is adopted, they will!
Your words made me remember a bumber sticker I saw once when I was stuck in traffic.
War is bad for children and all living things.
Still one of my favorites.
Happy New Year to all
Bobbi
brandy, bobbi, thank you for getting it...and for being on the peace team. love hearing from you...
Taking a pledge to keep one's heart open in the midst of polarization is an act of courage and mindfulness. Thank you for stating the importance for doing this so clearly.
Nancy
you are most welcome, nancy, most welcome.
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