Almost a year ago, Christine Wilson lost her beloved husband John, a descendant of two tribes through his Maori mother and Scottish father. This is the letter she wrote to him in the next world as she reflected on her connection to John (Mahiti). 

Dear John,

As our mortal days roll by, suddenly the first anniversary of your passing is almost upon us. I continue to love you deeply!

Life here, of course, has certainly changed but not with the morbid, negative repercussions I secretly feared. You are missed constantly by many, yet somehow you are so with us. We are “buffaloing on,” to use the phrase of my friends Judie and Paul. It refers to the buffalo in Yellowstone in the winter, when the weather conditions can be extreme.  The buffalo just keep their heads down and move, slowly, onward.

The mystery of life has become more mysterious, yet the space between our mortal world and yours has shrunk. You are so much closer now.

As for me, personally, your presence is always within me….a part of me…and has changed me on many levels. I feel the most amazing oneness with you, impacting everything I do.

But you are also you and I am me, still with our individual personalities and characteristics, yet together we have created another entity—mysterious, powerful and wonderful.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, God!

There is still much I am trying to contribute here and, as you requested, I try to use each moment in these endeavors.

Something deep has stirred within me concerning the physical human heart and the shape of the heart. I feel both contain a magnitude of magic. Pieces of the puzzle are presenting themselves before me. It’s even more interesting as you died of heart failure.

My mind is a ceaseless, flowing stream of thought while my heart feels firmly anchored to a mighty, majestic mountain. How do I describe something so fresh which feels so ancient? Mahiti, my magic, your embrace has become my window into eternity.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Arohanui,

Chrissy

Christine Wilson lives in Auckland, New Zealand. She is a specialist in traumatic brain injury.