We challenged YourLifeIsATrip.com writers to tell us their Mother's Day tales in 25 words or less. But don’t let the small size fool you. At the heart of each of these very very short essays is a powerful story. So this is our gift to you — some very very short stories from the YourLifeIsATrip.com family.
by Jane Spencer
I have read memoirs by daughters who traveled with their mothers, and most say the same thing: "Don't do it.”
Mothers are unquestionably loved, but it seems they can be incontinent, cheap, bossy, slow movers, picky eaters, or all-of-the-above. In other words, not the best travel companions.
I am the mother in this story. In my sixties, I have some aches and pains but I am not incontinent. I am a budget-conscious, adventure traveler who has trekked in Asia, Europe and the Americas.
Trouble is, I am not a big city person.
Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? A plane? Sarah Palin looking for more wolves to shoot? NO! It's Helicopter Mom hovering over her children. Watch out! You better get out of my way, or else!
Okay, listen. We've all been hearing and reading a ton about the current generation of moms and dads who are too involved in their children's lives and just can't seem let go. Well, let me tell you that I'm not just one of those. I specialize. I have unique talents and longevity that no other Helicopter Mom has. After all, I've been one for over a quarter century now. No wonder all the other HM's come to me for advice.
For Mother's Day, YourLifeIsATrip.com co-founder Judith Fein wrote about her mama. We decided to check in with our other writers to see what they have to say about the women who birthed them. You may be very surprised. Feel free to leave comments for any of the writers and Happy Mother's Day if you are one, have one, or plan to be one!
words + photos by Melanie Fidler
My mom and I just got back from a mother-daughter bonding trip to Italy to visit my little sister, Jaclyn, who is studying abroad in Florence. We traveled hand-in-hand to Venice, Florence, and Rome in 10 days. It was the first trip we took, just the two of us. It was my first trip to Italy and I was happy to have my Italian mother with me.
We started off in Venice, a magical wonderland of masquerade masks, Murano glass, gelato, and romance. If only I was on my honeymoon! It’s an amazing place that almost seemed fake, like a movie set. Instead of streets and highways filled with car traffic there were quaint canals and waterways with gondolas and boats. We really did nothing all day but wander the streets, get lost, find our way, and eat, drink and be merry with the locals. I’m lucky to have had my mom there to experience such fine treats with me.
We celebrated my mother’s birthday on Feb. 8th, but never really knew how old she was. She said that she was born in 1900 because it not only made her two years younger than my father, but was easy for her to calculate her age. In 1968, when my mother died, we did some of our own calculations and came up with something between 72 and 74, but of course didn’t know for sure.
Coming of age in New York’s Harlem, she expressed her independence by dropping out of school before she even entered high school and then taking a factory job, something not unusual at the time. In her early twenties, she opened her own retail shop with one of her multitude of sisters.
Education was never one of her goals but she was beautiful and was known for the way she dressed, spending more on her clothes then than I do now. Of course, I don’t have the interest in them that she had.
Marrying my father and settling down with children must have been difficult for her but she thought that was what she was supposed to do, especially since she had passed the 30-year mark and needed to make a move if she was going to do what was expected of her by her family and culture.
Her mood swings, her constant complaints about her life, her put- downs of my father, my brother and less, of me, were accepted. She was discontented about almost everything. Never knowing what was going to set her off, I retreated and tread lightly. Not ever being able to drive (she said she was too nervous), she was imprisoned in her own life.
Now, that I’m approaching that time of her last years, I’m a great deal more understanding of this woman, my mother, who never lived the life she thought she should have. Instead, although vastly different in temperament, I’ve done the living she never did……
This July I turn 59 years old. If I live as long as my mother, then I am about to embark on my last year of life.
Mom, you were the queen of selflessness.You gave up everything for everyone else. My deepest frustration was not being able to get you to see that your mother and sister were sucking the life out of you. Every day, on the phone, you’d try your hardest to get them to listen, think things through, and calm down. It NEVER worked. The medical profession says that stress can cause disease. It's clear in your case that it did.
by Eric Lucas
I was lolling in the bathtub reading a comic book (the Amazing Flash) when my mom came in waving a copy of the afternoon newspaper. “Russians Launch Satellite,’ blared the huge headline. I tore myself away from superhero suspense to listen. You should listen to your mom, right? It was October 4, 1957. I was 6 years old.
“You may not understand this, but your world just changed,” my mother told me. “Pretty soon people will travel into space. You could. There’s a whole universe out there.
“All you have to do,” she added, “is make sure those grades keep up.”
She used to work that into every conversation; in fact, until recently, she would occasionally resurrect her offer that, should I wish to go to law school, she’d pay for it. Never mind I have no interest in law school and I’ve enjoyed a 30-year career writing everything from hotheaded newspaper columns to, well, hotheaded internet columns.
Most of my childhood is vague to my recollection, but I remember that evening the whole world marveled at the news Sputnik I had circled the globe. A 6-year-old boy’s grasp of the world is pretty much rooted in baseball, bikes and Cheerios, so I can’t say I comprehended the fact the universe had just shifted. Did this make the amazing technology behind the Flash more likely? What about Superman? “Just remember this moment,” my mom admonished.
Her death is still as fresh as my birth. It was nine months ago, (her death, not my birth) and I miss her very much, especially on days like today. I remember her love and her singing Happy Birthday to me. I also recall the story she told of my difficult birth.
She was, of course, rushed to the hospital where she waited, and waited, and waited — in labor for 72 hours. I am not sure if mom was reluctant to bring me into the world, or if I was being extra cautious about sliding my pudgy baby body those last few inches to a new existence. Given my subsequent history, I’m pretty sure it was the latter.
Just as my mother had endured my birth, this willful woman endured her life, and mine, though not without letting me know that she knew what was best. To her dismay I did not become a Jewish heart surgeon (or even a Presbyterian foot doctor). Mom also put up with me marrying two non-Jewish women (not at the same time, God forbid), and gradually grew to love them as she loved me.
The more time goes by, the more I become like my mother, for instance: waiting for the burglar. My neighbors have been ripped off five times in two years and I find myself trying to out-think the would-be burglar when I travel.
Mom showed me the way in this behavior by turning on her radio when she left the house, doing a pre-departure round to check door and window locks and hiding valuables when she took trips. One time, after she returned from a trip, Mom couldn’t find her silverware and was convinced the burglar had shown up and stolen it. Dad refused to submit an insurance claim, as he was positive Mom had hidden it and forgotten the hiding place. Sure enough, years later, the “stolen” silverware was discovered in a picnic basket in the attic.
The highlight of this long wait for the burglar happened when Mom, Dad and my sister were home one night, watching TV in the living room. My sister went out to the kitchen to get a soda and found the kitchen door not only open, but propped open. The burglar had finally shown up and they hadn’t heard a thing. Nothing was actually missing…my sister had aborted the heist by showing up at an opportune moment. In a way, we were all relieved that the years of expectation weren’t in vain, but we laughed pretty hard at the irony that we were home when it happened. Meanwhile, I still put my lights on timers and hide my valuables when I leave on trips. I seem to be programmed to wait for my own burglar!
My mother was always an intrepid traveler, which seemed odd because in other aspects of her life she is so passive. For her, I think getting in the car and heading out of our tiny village in Upstate New York was a way to escape poverty. With the windows open and the radio blaring and a cigarette propped between two fingers she'd begin the journey, which was often home to Washington, D.C.
by Nancy King
As part of a course in spirituality, we were asked to create a card for Mother’s Day in ten minutes or less. The words tumbled out unbidden. Uncensored. I showed it to the course leader and told her, “It’s not exactly a Hallmark card so if you feel it’s not appropriate for me to read it to the group, that’s okay.”
She read it, stared at me for a moment, and then said, “There are all kinds of mothers in this world. We need to honor each child’s experience.”
The first three Mother’s Day cards were full of love and thank you and gratitude and blessings. It was time to read mine.
What card do I send to my mother?
My mother holds her baby’s head beneath the waves
The ocean cannot bear to look.
Vomits waves to break her hold.
Swims a lifeguard to the child.
Returns the baby to her mother.
My mother smiles coquettishly. Says, “Thank you.”
Screams at the child, "Why don't you die?"
What card do I send to my mother?
My mother breaks a board upon her daughter’s body.
The child does not protest.
Ignores the blood that pours upon the carpet.
My mother screams, “You'll never tell.”
Pushes the child down the stairs.
The crowd gathers.
Sees my mother's tears.
What card do I send to my mother?
My mother screams.
The child stands.
Slams the child against the floor.
Bangs the head against the floor.
Chokes the childish sounds and breath.
by Andrea Gross
Ten years, ago I was watching as Charlie Rose interviewed a guest who was publicizing a book about his mom and dad. Rose looked envious. "You know," he said, "I've interviewed thousands of people, but I've never interviewed my parents. I've heard many of their stories, but I've never written them down." I looked closer. Did he have tears in his eyes?
Light bulb: I was working for a major consumer magazine. Like Rose, I spent my time interviewing people who weren't my parents. Mistaken priorities? Definitely.
Two weeks later I was at my parents' apartment, fully outfitted with tape recorder, microphones and all sorts of journalistic paraphernalia. My mom talked non-stop for four days.
Her eyes sparkled as she told stories of flying in a single engine airplane with the handsomest boy in town. She spoke of times that made her laugh, experiences that made her cry, and events that changed her from a young girl concerned only with appearances to a wise woman dedicated to helping others.
by Judith Fein
I was sleeping on a cot in her living room. Early morning sun was streaming in through an opening in the white linen drapes and she was standing over me.
“I was thinking about it all night,” she said. “I can’t believe you don’t know who Usher is!”
“Usher?” I asked, dragging myself from dreamland.
“Yes, Usher. Have you been living under a rock? He sings R &B, has won 5 Grammies and is a major philanthropist.”
I looked up at my 91-year-old mother.
“Okay, ma, you win. It’s important. I’ll find out all about Usher,” I conceded.
She doesn’t just know about Usher. At 85, as a result of her rabid interest in Eminen, she gathered her dear ones at a restaurant in La Jolla, threw some signs and began: “My name is Mickey and I’m here to say/I’m coming out as a rapper today.” The mouths of her guests and the entire staff of the restaurant fell open.