Bargaining for Christmas in Jerusalem
by Michael Papas
Spending my first Christmas 7000 miles from my grown children was an unhappy prospect.
But two and a half years after my divorce, while traveling, I’d met a beautiful, sexy woman in Tel Aviv, and had stayed there 4 months longer than I had planned. Sadly Ronit, my Israeli girlfriend, is prohibited from traveling to Bethlehem, because it’s in the Palestinian territories, and the Government of Israel feels it’s unable to protect its citizens there. So, to make the day special for me, she took two days off from work ( Christmas is just another workday in Israel ! ) and we booked a nice hotel in Jerusalem, a close walk from the ancient city walls.
We spent Christmas Day walking the Via Dolorosa, the “Way of Pain,” that Christ is said to have suffered along on the way to his crucifixion. The Via is in the Moslem Quarter, inside the old city walls of Jerusalem, and, Christmas is just a foreigner’s holiday there.
All the tiny and cramped shops and restaurants were open, selling everything from Persian carpets to colorful religious icons. They were doing a brisk business with everyday shoppers, and scattered groups of Christian pilgrims following the route.
There were even raw, homemade crowns of thorns for sale, made from some sort of dried spiky vine.
While Ronit wandered off to do some shoe shopping, I reverently stepped into the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, built over the site of Christ’s crucifixion and tomb. Moved by the constant stream of services by the different sects on site that day, I stayed for more than 3 hours, following the devout crowds. Bearded Orthodox Priests, in their beautiful black robes and square hats, led us from the chapel to chapel in the dim light of that holy space, fragrant clouds streaming from their swinging incense censers.
Later, by chance, I walked past a shop that I had visited earlier. The shop, tiny like all of them in the Old City, sold only Chess sets. Although reluctant to enter the negotiation process, I braced myself and entered, because it was Christmas, and I wanted a gift to remember the day.
“Hello again.”
“Oh Hello sir, how are you?” (In perfect English, all the shopkeepers speak it.)
“I’m fine, remember me from before?”
“Oh, of course, sir. How could I forget you! You must be Scottish.”
“No. I’m from the US. Where are you from ?”
“I’m from here, I’m Jewish.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I am a Zionist! (Ronit had said he was an Arab, so I think he’s joking.)
“Are you Swedish? You look Swedish.” (He speaks some nonsense Swedish sounds.)
I know we’re joking now, so I reply, “No, I’m Chinese.” (He ignores my joke.)
“So, how much for this plain set here?”
“Oh, that one is not for you sir, look at these!”
“No no no, I prefer the plain and simple one.”
“All right sir, whatever you say.”
“How much is it?”
“Only 500 shekels ($143 US ), a very good price.”
“No, that is crazy.” ( I’ve been in Israel for 5 months, and I’m no fool.)
“Please sir, you must help me, I have a girlfriend and I want to take her away. ( He takes out a cell phone and starts showing me pictures.)
“Oh, I understand, she is very beautiful.”
“Yes, I want to take her away. Can you please help me?”
“Yes, but I have a girlfriend too, and I want to take HER away,” I explain.
“Ok, sir, whatever you say.”
“So how much is the set ?”
“Only 400 shekels.” ($115 US )
“I will give you 100.“ ($29 US )
“Oh no no no, please sir, what about my girlfriend? I will take 300.” ($86 US )
“No, sorry I will only pay 100.”
“But my girlfriend…”
“I know, but I am not rich and 100 is a very good price.”
“OK, 175 then.” ($50 US )
“No, I will only pay 100.”
“I’m sorry sir, but I must make a living.”
“I know it is expensive here in Israel. 100 is a very good price.” (He gathers up the chess set and takes it to the back of the store.)
“I am counting the pieces.”
“Thank You. But I will only pay 100 shekels.” (He takes the 100 shekels, puts the set in a black plastic bag, and hands it to me.)
“Thank you sir, can you help me ?”
“I will try, sure.”
“Can you speak to my father ?” (Pulling out the cell phone. )
“Why? What about ?”
“I want to take my girlfriend away. Can you tell him you and I are going together?”
“Going together where?”
“On holiday. I want to take my girlfriend.”
“Oh, your father is religious?”
“Yes, sir.”
“So you need me to lie to your father?”
“Yes, sir, just a little.”
“I’m sorry, I’m a Buddhist and it’s against my religion to lie. Good luck though!”
“Ok. Thank you, sir.”.
“Salaam Alaikum.”
“Alaikum Salaam.”
After my purchase, Ronit and I wandered in the early twilight back to our hotel. I was thrilled with my simple new chess set in my black plastic bag. I was happy to be in Jerusalem, not far from where the whole story started, and I was warm with good feelings about my Christmas Day in Jerusalem with this exotic dark-eyed woman I was beginning to love.
Michael Papas is a 65-year-old Buddhist Oregonian with two grown children. After his marriage ended he bought a one-way ticket to Barcelona and stayed out of the US for 13 months, visiting 9 countries. He is currently spending the Winter in Tel Aviv, Israel, with his lovely girlfriend, Ronit.
